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LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST or at least that's how it's been feeling recently. i mean i started college...

i honestly thought i wouldn't even be alive to make it to this point but i am and now im kinda confused but it's definitely Something. being in an environment where i'm not a shut in 75% of the time and actually have semi worthwhile places available to go/escape to is so damn refreshing and i've already met some great people here (to my surprise). it's the best i've felt mentally in years, but it still has been kind of ass. i mean the school aspect is always gonna be ass but there's no changing that since thats just how this shit is. college was never going to be the fix all for me and i still tend to struggle with stuff like self doubt among other things (i cant see incoming deadlines actually) but just the environment change itself sure as hell did Something. it's kinda cozy here though. it's a fine balance between mental hell and not mental hell. classes are boring and kinda tedious but everything else makes up for it mostly and i'm at least learning stuff that'll actually have some use to me in the future. now if only my work ethic was as good as my social skills...

being way more outside as of recently has also just reminded me that i still tend to treasure real life relationships way more than online ones. don't get me wrong i still like getting to know people online (i don't think i'll ever really escape fandom and general tech nerd online spaces), but there's nothing quite like face to face conversations with someone who's well...actually there. not to say that online friendships arent real friendships i just prefer seeing people in person. i still use chat apps a lot, but mostly nowadays just to talk to people i know irl. i've also just well, been preoccupied with life and figuring myself out more now that i have a semi proper space to and my priorities are elsewhere. i want to do better in my classes and maximize the time i spend with people irl that i personally know and i hold close. can't really do that online.

random thought but shit like instagram and snapchat is still annoyingly prevalent as ever. i mean i get it, its popular, but also just damn. i quit being active on both a long time ago (i somehow tolerate those platforms less than i do places like twitter oddly enough), but people will still ask me for say my insta or snap sometimes. i had joined a snapchat group for a study group in one of my math classes because it was spur of the moment and they didnt think of using anything else. it SUCKED because i never fucking checked snapchat save for the times the chat was active and if you don't check the app actively for a few days it tends to nag at you to check people's stories and such even if you have shit like post notifications turned off in the app settings. like FUCK OFF. it also groups those nag notifications into the same notification channel as regular message notifications so disabling them means you dont get notified when someone texts you. it's fucked and snapchat is evil and i hate this shit so much and could go on a rant on it for hours but it's not worth my time. i ended up dropping the class anyway (not because of snapchat that would be silly) so at least i don't have to deal with snap much anymore in the meantime. back to the disabled notifications category it goes.

life aside, i've still been meaning to update some stuff recently, mainly the jelly 2 review. after using it on and off in the real world i still think its a good phone but the one big issue i'll just say it here. it's the battery life. it SUCKS sometimes. i'll update the review eventually. was also thinking about writing about my little quest with old phones and trying to use them in 2022 since i've gotten my hands on some vintage phones. it's a bit frustrating mostly since the networks here in the US keep trying to kick them off (2g and 3g here are either phased out or slowly being phased out), but once you get them working....they do work surprisingly well. i should probably show them!

look at these little guys. samsung sgh-r725 and motorola razr v3, somehow both working on t-mobile mvnos in 2022 with fresh sim cards. take that, network blocks!

i don't know how to finish this. the main takeaway from this is......touch grass? also vintage phones are neat and snapchat sucks. idrk. im gonna disappear again until i have a photo to share or something.