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i have some stuff i've been meaning to put up or work on but i've been super busy recently. uploading to here has been more of a second thought than anything. i feel like i have to put SOMETHING out lest the site rots and takes up space here (active microblogging still haunting me tbh) but at the same time i'm taking things slow right now. i'm just exhausted tbh.
i like having a neato place to express myself on the net but i never really find myself expressing as much. i get my phone camera out and take pics sometimes and upload them and thats it lol. which i guess is something. but does it really matter? probably not. nothing really fucking matters tbh. not in a stupid nihilist way just a putting random personal stuff on the net way. update in a day update in a month. it's whatever.
somewhat unrelated but sometimes i question why i really made this site. i always wanted a personal website ever since i was way younger, but now that im actually putting some effort into one its idk. but thats also whatever.
the entire constant need for me to share everything publicly is something i still give into to an extent (i mean, i do like showing stuff i make that im proud of) but most of the time i dont really gain anything from it! who cares! if anything not sharing some stuff is probably better for my privacy. fuckers are out here sharing their full name dob ssn current location the whole 9 yards every 10 seconds. i just sit on a keyboard and write some word salad sometimes and put it here and it's whatever lol.

i want a stable and satisfying life someday. i'm not gonna get that from constantly updating my site or socials.

p.s. to all the new people following don't expect frequent updates unless i'm on a roll or something lol. also hi all of you