◀ go back

one of the biggest things i’ve been needing to work on nowadays is how i use the internet and being more conscious of it. its hard to break free from the shackles of social media when 90 percent of my life has revolved around the internet and its culture. everything has gotten to the point where i just need a fucking break, but shit is just too damn enticing that i come back.

i stopped using instagram and snapchat a lot (i still begrudgingly keep it because some people still insist on texting me on it occasionally) because it was just a boring feed of peoples’ lives, but twitter and discord filled that wanting for content i liked more, and admittedly that’s not doing me any better then being on insta and snap did. it’s a weird predicament. i could probably (definitely) go without twitter for periods of time, but so many of my friends (both online and irl) use discord that going completely without it on an extended basis would probably be more trouble than it’s worth. getting rid of insta and snap did make me realize one thing though: if i can’t fully rid myself of it, do i just need to make stuff more boring?

as of writing this i tend to find myself drawn to twitter and discord as a sort of boredom reliever of sorts. given my personal situation (as of now) i mainly use social media to distract myself as i haven’t really been able to engage in other hobbies/things/etc that i like (especially photography) due to other personal factors (not having a proper drivers license, mental state, etc). i think this is bound to change when i get my license and go off to college soon. i hope i’ll be in a slightly better state of mind by then (anything is better then this fucking household), plus more opportunities to go out, be around people, and pursue hobbies should hopefully automatically mean i would be on the (addictive) net less. even with all of that though, i still want to at least try to make some effort to mitigate some of my screen on time to an extent. i’d like to think discord and twitter have been slightly helping me in this shitty place im in, but developing a dependency on that will only harm me even more if i keep doing it. browsing and chatting as much as i do now did me no good in my early teen years, and it’s not doing me any better now. i had an entire thing back around 2016-2017 where i spent even more, if not all of my time on discord communities and other social media, and as a younger kid it really really really fucked me up. i like to think i know better now, but i really don’t want a repeat of that.

admittedly, a lot of this is just self control and unlearning emotional dependency on technology and social media. that’s going to be something i’m gonna be working on for a while, and it’s something i haven’t ever really planned for until giving it more thought recently (and even then, i’m still kinda at a loss for what to do). i mean, i guess it’s just little steps. i turned on do not disturb on discord today and i think i’m gonna keep it on. it’s a nice feeling to not be bombarded by it and it’s just one part of me trying to reduce that craving i have for social media + instant gratification and making the applications i use more “boring.” on the search for solutions, i’ve also been perusing the dumbphones subreddit for a bit now. reducing my screen time on my phone is another thing i’m interested in doing, and i think in the next few months i’m gonna try deleting or “dumbing down” apps on my phone to try to make them less enticing to open. albeit, i don’t really know if i’m gonna go full dumb. a lot of modern conveniences and tools (that im not addicted to) are just nice to have on a device i'll be carrying daily, plus i don’t want to carry around a bunch of other things to substitute.

i'm still figuring out stuff on the computer side of things. usually i dont have as much of a problem with it on there i feel like, but i could still probably cut out some stuff on there and just do other things instead. the main point for me of uninstalling the apps from my phone was to make this kind of stuff more of a conscious decision for me and not be as bogged down by it when im on the go.

the nuclear options, at least based on stuff i have on hand right now. either flip phone for communication and some basic apps/tools or really shitty broken (to not entice me to use it as much) android phone to at least be able to use tools that might not install or work well on the flip (banking, maps, etc). ipod for distraction free music when i want to have it around.

i think this is going to be an interesting journey for me to plan out and take in these next few months, probably some of the biggest ones of my life thus far. i mean if all else fails and nothing works it gives me an excuse to buy this kickass phone

i mean look at this piece of shit its fucking cool its like an old candybar style feature phone but it has full android and i can put maps and spotify on it lol