◀ go back

every time this rolls around i always sit and think, like… what the hell did i do this year that was even noteworthy or helped me grow? i mean at the same time, i probably shouldnt focus on that too hard (it just leads to me being overly critical of myself) but at the same time i just wanna find a path. or figure myself out more. or feel better. i guess im gonna be at that point in life for a while. i guess i kinda want to feel…something.

i guess i did grow more this year compared to last. well, i say that every year but this year feels a bit more different…well i say that every year too. i mean every year is a year of growth. you’re never not growing.

now that i’m out and about again everything just feels a bit more fresh. my school dropped the virtual option so i’ve been back on campus and it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. albeit school is still annoying as ever though lol. i can’t help but feel nervous sometimes (i’m unvaccinated and not allowed to get vaxxed) but i don’t think i’d ever wanna go back to being fully online and barely leaving the house unless i absolutely had to. i lost my fucking mind back then. honestly i forgot all of that even existed. my brain fuckin flipped a switch or something and made me forget

also it helped having a bit more connections nowadays. i still tend to get burned out sometimes when it comes to socializing and shit, but having a few people and getting to know some more people this year was a nice little change of pace. i think if there’s anything that made this year better then last was connections. some are nice. i like them.

also i guess my self esteem got a bit better. not completely hating myself was the most positive thing ive done.

i guess if anything, i feel a bit more comfortable with just being me.

here’s to the end of yassified 2020 (not my joke). and here’s to a new year where i’m probably gonna feel the exact same again. also im going to a new years party. i have no idea how that’ll go i’ve never been to one. this might be interesting

idk how to end this. if anything its probably an accomplishment im still here to type this. new years resolutions? idk. i guess try not to die this year as always lol.